About four years ago now (wow, I can’t believe it’s already been that long) I hit a really low point with my emotional and physical health. Every single day I was miserable living inside my own head when everything around me was seemingly fine.
I started and ended each day in hysterics and the time in between was spent wallowing in whatever I could latch onto at that time. I was having daily bouts of anxiety and regular panic attacks behind the wheel. At the time I was in college managing my school work and two part time jobs all while maintaining a relationship that I still remain in today.
Where it all Began
I don’t have much recollection of a timeline, but I’d say within a year of experiencing this emotional turmoil, I started experiencing physical symptoms. Mainly I was having stomach upsets with nearly everything I was eating. I was diagnosed with IBS since no one really had any other explanation for what was going on.
Then in school by the end of my junior year I was falling asleep at my desk by 2 pm every day. And I wasn’t someone among my peers who was staying up all night to get their class work done. In fact, I was falling behind on my school work because I was prioritizing getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night to feel rested. But I never did. I’d wake up just as tired as when I went to bed the night before. Sometimes more, like I had continued to stay up all night working through my sleep, but had no work or sleep to show for it.
On top of that I was freezing cold. All the time. I’ve always been a generally cold person, but this was a cold that cooled me to my core. It seemed to never go away. Those around me would be okay in heated rooms in sweaters, but being layered and bundled in blankets still left me shivering in my classes.
My redemption started with a standard visit in my doctors office. I had mentioned the emotional symptoms I was having because it was getting to be too much for me to handle and honestly it was a bit much for those around me too. I mentioned my past with therapy and medication and how I didn’t want to go down that path again. Luckily, my doctor was trained on a genetic panel called Genomind. It reveals information about your genetic makeup that can help explain why you are the way you are and do the things you do. This test allowed my doctor to evaluate the root cause of my issue and compliment it with a series of vitamin treatments.
My results came back revealing I had a genetic mutation called MTHFR... I know. It looks like Mother-Fer and it sure is! 😅
I’m not a doctor, so this is not a clinical overview of anything that I’ve gone through, it’s just my understanding through experience and research.
MTHFR Mutation effects the way the body transmits certain vitamins & nutrients from foods to be used in the body for important functions like hormones, digestion, brain function, etc. Figuring this out allowed my doctor to put me on a vitamin regimen to get started.
Looking Up & Moving Forward
After a while taking the vitamins, my emotional health improved, but I still wasn’t 100%. During this time I found yoga and meditation as a way to cope with my emotions and calm my mind of my anxieties.
Doing more research on therapy and MTHFR, I conveniently found 1 therapist in my area who matched the energy of what I was looking for and specialized in the mutation.
It was like I was meant to find her. ✨
I started seeing her regularly and she began teaching me the works of the program she’s studied all about being present with your emotions and moving through them, versus around them. It was in her office that I mentioned how drained I was feeling—being tired and so cold. She looked at me and she just observed the very nature of my face somewhat carefully.
She asked “have you ever had your thyroid checked?” I’m over here thinking “needles? Fuck no I haven’t had my thyroid checked.” She recommended that I do because these could be symptoms of a thyroid imbalance.
Going home with that I found out I had a history of thyroid abnormalities in my family. So I went and had mine checked. Come to find out I have the antibodies for a thyroid Autoimmune Disease called Hashimoto’s.
When it comes to Hashimoto’s, there are a couple of different antibodies to test for. These are the important factors of the Autoimmune disease. There are also regular Thyroid hormones in your body that process and regulate Thyroid function.
In my case, I without question have the antibodies for Hashimoto’s, but my Thyroid hormone levels read on the low end of “normal.” What that means is there is not a doctor at my disposal who will prescribe me a medication for Thyroid regulation, because they see it as normal despite the debilitating symptoms I was having.
I am so grateful for my therapist because from there, she gave me a few resources to use to learn how to manage Hashimoto’s through lifestyle changes.
Changing My Life Changed My Life
Within the month, I went gluten and dairy free. And surprisingly, I was feeling better. I was more energized, I felt lighter if that even makes sense and I wasn’t having stomach issues anymore.
I believe this past Thanksgiving was my 3rd or 4th year being gluten free.
It can be extremely challenging. Some of my favorite foods in the world I can no longer eat. But it has expanded my horizons to be able to feel good which is something I’ve longed to feel my entire life if I’m being frank.
I always remembered thinking “when I grow up I want to be happy.” But I never had any idea how to do that and now more than ever, I understand it is a mindset change.
It's All About the Mind
Even after I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, I remember having a therapy session where I was using it as an excuse for my lack of emotional/spiritual growth. And she told me something along the lines of “you can tell yourself Hashimoto’s is ruining you life all you want, but your throat chakra is blocked and you’re not doing the work to uncover it.”
And it was a message I needed to hear. Believe me, I hated hearing it at the time. But I needed to hear it.
I left her office that day and didn’t come beck for a year if not longer.
But in that year I did a ton of growing and learning and I experienced many things.
I finally feel a sense of balance with my health and my life and every week I find new tools that are helpful in my journey to happiness.
Along my path, I have found many therapeutic techniques. Yoga, meditation, massage, reiki, crystal healing, tarot cards, breath work, numerology, Astrology are just to name a few.
And they help me so much!
That’s why when I set foot to pursue my freelance design career, this is who comes to my mind when I think about who I want to work with because I resonate with their services so deeply, I want to help others understand the healing benefits of these services as well. 💖
I’m so curious about your journey with holistic healing. If you feel so called, I'd love to hear your story in the comments below! ✨
Bailey M. Bain